>I need.

>

cr: tumblr

I wanna close my eyes. I wanna sleep.

Can I do this all day long?

>too long

>

Earphones in, volumes up. 

I wanna do this all day long.

>Hiatus, still.

>

OMG. I AM SO SLOW.

It took me 7 weeks to realize that the modules I am currently taking this semester are pretty much dry, boring and uninteresting stuff! 
ㅠ.ㅠ

what happen to the supposed interesting things in behavior in organisation? ):

till then,

toodles

 

>Being Me.

>

The truth is, I haven’t been productive since the day I gave up on myself. Not entirely, but some part of me. And unfortunately, it includes school. The lack of motivation I am having, the restless self that I myself don’t understand. I cannot find any joy as of now despite of being around with people I love. I am finding myself being drawn back from the crowd, hoping that I will just be invisible and able to roam free without anyone stopping me. I am in denial that I am stuck in this hole that I am having a hard time getting out. I don’t find any purpose to do things I am suppose to do and yet I am feeling upset and frustrated with myself that I am not doing the things I am suppose to do. You can say that I am contradicting myself. The truth is, I am. I want this and yet I refuse to do it. I want that and yet I don’t find the reason why I should. No, there’s nothing wrong me and I am not depressed. This is just another process that I am going through, a process that defines me. I need this process to sort out my thoughts, to set certain goals in this period of time. I am lost while being in this process, but being lost here will eventually get me out of it. At the end of the day, it is not my friends or parents will get me out of this deep hole. It’s me. I have the control of myself. It is just the matter of getting it done and get over with.

I have wasted at least 2 weeks being this way and thankfully, I am getting out of this hole. I am slowly starting to form some sort of positive emotions and thoughts that will bring me back to the path that I took. Life’s tough and it’s has been annoying the hell of me. Generally, I love to think but not to the extend where I will meet a dead end and have no idea why I was there in the first place. People have been questioning me, asking me whether I can survive in this cruel world with what I am currently doing in my life. I wish people will just stop asking me about my future plans and things like that. I am not ready to answer and definitely do not want to think about it just yet. Let me live the life I am living now and it will be nice if these people will just learn to understand. That being said, I am matured enough to know what I am doing. Go with the flow is the kind of thing that I do.  It’s a Type B thing, and I am one of them.

With that, I think I am putting this blog on a short-long hiatus. With the massive amount of assignments that are due every week in the month of August, I don’t think I have the time to blog about school. I am looking very much to 27th August 2010. That will be the day where every assignments and presentations are gone and end of SPSS test for stats part 2. Despite of being busy with completing assignments and catching up on schoolwork, I am looking forward for tutoring sessions. It’s been awhile and I think I am a little rusty in getting ideas of what to teach.

Ramadhan is approaching in less than a day. I am anticipating this month and welcoming this month with open heart, mind and arms. Haven’t even started and plans of iftar-ing together with friends are already being proposed, planned and in the process of planning. Tsk tsk, the spirit of getting together. Looking forward to all though. (: And to end this, Selamat Berpuasa to all my Muslim friends and relatives (: 

For the people who are doubting me, watch me. 

till then,
toodles

>@tumblr

>

I don’t know what to update here.

Any suggestion?

In the meantime, I’m busy tumblr-ing (:

till then,

toodles

>@tumblr

>

 

“We are all guilty of saving old messages from someone who became really special in our lives and going to familiar places that gives us that small twinge in our hearts and smiles on our faces. It’s one of the most bittersweet feelings ever because every time that person crosses our minds, we remember the instances when we were happy and complete.”

Am busy catching with sleep and watching drama(s). Proper update soon. (:

till then,
toodles

>Of Heroes And Destinies

>Time check: 5:29AM

Yet again, one of the concerts that I’ve enjoyed myself, be it performing the pieces or slacking at the backstage with the people from talking nonsense to camwhoring to reception area to eat the food to jokes and more laughter. I don’t really know what else to talk about the concert except that I really did enjoyed myself despite of just playing Verdi and Pirates. So ….. just view the pictures I’ve uploaded up at the facebook. You see, pictures speak a thousand words.

Yes my friends, I’m awake. Wide awake in fact and I’ve yet to sleep since the time I woke up yesterday (18th March 2009) because I’m scared I won’t be able to wake up on time to like pack last minute stuff and missed the bus or something. In case you didn’t know, I’m going on a kind of short gateway to Malaysia with the fellow bandclique in about 3 hours time from Thursday to Monday (19th to 23rd March 2009). So be prepared to see a dead blog for a moment.t Then again, what’s new? I haven’t been blogging anyway. =X

Results was out yesterday. Can say that I’m both disappointed and happy at the time. Diploma awarded and that simply states that I’m OFFICIALLY graduated from Singapore Polytechnic, School of the Built Environment, Diploma in Property Development and Facilities Management (Quantity Surveying Option). Pretty pleased with the A+ for CCA though and the Bs for the modules that i was expecting to crumble. Graduation Ceremony will be on 28th May 2009, 930am. And right now, I’ve to really start to think of the future of what I truly, really want to do in this humble life of mine. Local Uni will be a tough road for me to go do and for now, my heart is really wanting to go JCU.

Had a small talked with someone and I realised how fickle I can get. And this means, it will just lead me to more troubles and unsettled life. Scary but unfortunately, it’s true. I can’t help it but to be fickle sometimes because fickle-minded runs in me since the day I was born. I don’t think it runs in the family because both my parents are pretty much very stern when come to decision making. Maybe the Aunts or Uncles, but I’m not pretty sure myself either. But what I need right now, is to find myself.

It’s 5:44am right now and I’m going to do some last minute check on the packing and get ready to go out.

Darren, Nicholas, Wendy, Mega and Jin Kun, let’s just enjoy ourselves for the next 5 days!

Take care people!
I will be back, soon! (:

And oh, I need to mention this.
My Bestie, Su’aidah Binte Ariffin, is just the best BEST friend I can ever ask for in this world (: And I love her so! Thanks for luggage, ziplocks, camera inclusive of batteries and everything la!

till then,
toodles

>hmm.

>

I haven’t been update much at the blog.
I have tons to update about D&D and Nina’s Birthday Surprise.

BUT,
that had to wait till then.

at ljay. (entries are 90% private)
ask me, and i might tell you.

till then,
toodles

>Blog’s on Hold

> As much as I want to blog daily, I can only blog here like once awhile. Partly because I’m catching up with school works and starting to mug for the finals. Plus the fact that I’m having the emotional dysfunction and have yet to find the remedy. I guess the latter will take a pretty much longer time to get heal this time round.

So, I’m going to put this blog on hold for the moment. No worries, I will update once a week. In the meantime, I will be somewhere pouring the heart out.

till then,
toodles

>Busy Peak

>Just a quick update since I decided to take a break from the revisions.

The past one week had been great and mentally exhausting! The highlight of last week was the Mr and Miss Singapore Polytechnic held at the Convention Centre on Friday. I had fun, screaming, shouting, laughing and shouting again with fellow crazy classmates. Simply because Richard was one of the 10 finalist! haha. Super happening i tell you. We screamed like no one business and I don’t know la. I know I had the best time in my life with my classmates! haha. Richard is the 1st runner up for Mr SP. Not bad already la. It was really a tough fight between him and the winner.

I’m still busy with assignments and revisions and band practices. I’m really looking forward for 23rd Dec. Then, I shall declare myself free from the hectice schedules. Probably going to take up exam break from SYO for the 13th Jan concert or something because it’s like the final weeks to my final exams before goodbye to sp kind of period.

I’m actually pretty tensed up with some people but I shall not complain because afterall, we are only humans.

Alright, shouldn’t blog now.
going to mug or something now.

till then,
toodles