Of appreciation and,

I usually have the habit of updating this space when I am usually overseas in either June or December. And it usually on the night before I depart for home or on the day itself. This time round, even with the ample time I have to update, I decided not to. I realised that I am, at times, too dependent on the technology, thinking about the things I want to update that I had forgotten to immersed myself with the present and let the emotions of that moment to beautify itself. So this time round, I decided to put the post on hold and just breathe and go with the flow of the trip that I had.

Surprise, surprise. This #summer2014, I decided to “let go” the wanting to go back to Seoul and try out some place new. I had been to Italy years back and I remembered loving the culture there. Jannah and her mum were planning to go back to the Netherlands to visit their relatives and they had invited to follow. And after the financial planning, and letting go of the wanting to go back to Seoul, I decided to take up the invitation and follow them to Netherlands. But I wasn’t there entirely for 2 weeks. I decided that since I am heading to Europe anyway, I should visit one country that I had always wanted to go. London, the United Kingdom. And so, with all the advices I could get from all different friends that I have (which I am really thankful for! love you guys so much!), and the planning, and financial part, my #summer2014 trip was planned! To London for 5 days, and the rest of the days in the Netherlands (which I had visited a couple of provinces that the country had to offer me with all the exciting Dutch stuff!) and a day at Antwerpen, Belgium (which I am really thankful for Aunty Ingrid for driving us there for a day!).

I was ecstatic! I really don’t know what to feel, really. I was just so excited because I was really looking forward to visit London and I wasn’t disappointed! Despite of the expensive transport and food (which I don’t really care much, because hey! I am in London!), I had really enjoyed being there. It’s a pity because 5 days were really too short to explore the whole of London (and I had wished I had planned to go other parts of UK, but maybe another time; like next year maybe?). I went to places that I wanted to go. I LOVE LOOKING AT BIG BEN. I know, I sound crazy. But I spent like an hour or so at that bridge looking at Big Ben and the surrounding. The weather was perfect. Cold with the touch of the heat of the sun. (I wore shorts on some days, but whatever, the weather was awwwwweeessoome!). And zomg, I went to Warners Bros Studio for Harry Potter. I WAS A TOTAL FAN GIRL. I couldn’t control my over pouring of emotions when I was there. I was not disappointed! I mean, they could have more things but whatever they have there is already enough to enlighten my fan girl moments. Took the city bus tour to have the overview feel of London as we lacked of “more time to explore” and the tour just gave me the “I need to come back to London again!” feels. And which of course, I really hope I have another chance of going there again. Insyaallah. (:

So that was London and the next stop was the Netherlands. I had a nice accommodation stay with Jannah’s aunty and she is a lovely lady with so much general knowledge of the world. She’s so hipped and cool and I don’t know, she’s just an awesome lady. Aunty Ingrid is so awesome, I think anyone who meet up with her will love her for who she is. Her house is in Utrecht, a province in Netherlands. It’s about 30 to 40 mins train ride to Amsterdam and Rotterdam and about 2 hours drive to Antwerpen, Belgium. Netherlands gave me another perspective of life. I had learned so much from there; from life choices and decisions, to experiences of people of different nations/life. Some things I learned are directly being told to me but most of the things I had learned, are from the walks, and the talks and the observing of people there (whether I had directly or indirectly in contact with them). Oh, I had also went to Volendam where the windmills are, as well as the cheese factory and their traditional Dutch shoes factory. The trip to Netherlands is more of the chilling and taking our time kind of trip. I love Amsterdam, I like Utrecht. Each places offered different sides of the Netherlands and everything is so unique. And zomg, World Cup fever was on when I was in Netherlands. I can totally feel the world cup fever gushing and running through the blood of the people of Netherlands. The country spirit was awesome. They won two games (I watched both games!) and the town was literally in orange in support of their national team! They were cheering, and celebrating (there was even like fireworks in Utrecht after they won the first game!). It was really cool to be part of this. It’s like woah, totally cool!

Unlike going to Seoul, I was kind of looking forward to go home at the end of the trip. Don’t get me wrong. I had tons of fun during this trip. Then again, every trip offers different memories, different experiences and you learn something different. I was looking forward to home on the positive side of life. I couldn’t wait to see my parents and tell them what I had learned, see, experience. This trip had taught me so many things that one cannot learn from the books. I began to develop this feeling of appreciation towards people in my life, especially to those who had played a significant role in my life, whether from the earlier days or currently. Regret accompanied this appreciation feels because there are some people who I took for granted or some who I did not express my gratitude or appreciation or whatever to them.

This feeling of appreciation that developed in me was so huge, that at times, I am overwhelmed with this discovery. I am a woman with little words (I know; boring). I hardly give compliments as well as receiving them (I don’t know, I am just not use to people complimenting me. I am just a plain Jane. Maybe even boring, but you get what I mean). I usually say nasty things or straight to your face kind of thing. I hardly express my appreciation or happiness to people. I see expression of feelings as the crumbles to the wall I had built around me for the past years. And I always believe in independence of one responsibility to life. Then, I realised, it sucks to be alone. I had been alone almost all my life, I think it’s time to open up a little of the wall to let someone come in. This is getting complicated. I will save this explanation another time. This topic is too deep for me and even thinking about it makes me kind of emotional. I have friends, wonderful friends who are there for me. I talked to them about this and sometimes I feel that I should let things out even more. Because I feel that if you let things out from whatever you are holding on to and it’s not that worth it to do so, you will feel much much, extremely better than before. And of course, say a little prayers to thank your Creator (in which whatever religion you believe in). Little prayers come in a long way, you may not see it now but somehow you know that He always listen. (:

Pretty long update. And I am looking forward for more. There are just so many things going through the head now. HAHAHA.

till then,