This is crazy,

(credits to tumblr)

ZOMG.

It’s been ages since I last logged in to wordpress despite of the urges to sit down and type the chunks and chunks of words that have been running through my mind. I have been busy, period. I did logged in a couple of times but my mind just went zzaapppped! and nothing comes in mind to blog things out. Since I have the time now and the huge urge to blog, might as well.

Life has been busy. (Have I mentioned that already?) It’s pretty much about working and work and nothing much about the personal and social parts of it. 2013 so far, has just been about being busy. I don’t even know what I am busy with sometimes. All I know I had work, and then I met up with a couple of friends now and then and pretty much just about work. It’s pretty routine but I don’t find any “mundane” about it yet. Perhaps it’s because of my job scope where I will wake up in the morning and facing the unknown of possibilities and situations that day. I like the thrill of it. Waking up, getting ready for work and not sure what I will face that day. I just seems to enjoy my work. I do have some complaints but it’s parts and parcel of the job and life, I guess. No job is perfect. There are always that pros and cons, the ups and downs of the job (and even life!). But, if you enjoy what you do, then there’s nothing really much to complaint.

I’m not sure how people’s 2013 started but I know mine started on the bad side. 2013, at least for the month of January, is about doing something new, something for the first time, something that if I don’t do it now, I would still have to do it later. It was bad, just bad and I thought I couldn’t handle the stress and load that was coming with it. But with little encouragement from friends and family, a little motivation from within myself, I am like Hey! I can do this. If I don’t do it now, I would still have to do it later. Might as well, suck this all it and just do it. And so I did. It was about 3 months ago and I realised that I have always had this fear when I am doing something for the first time. But I’m over it now and I think I am handling it well myself. Of course with the help from friends, family and colleagues. (:

A couple of weeks ago, my dad asked me what’s next in life. All I did was stared at him and went like, oh no, I’ve no idea. I am planning to take my masters in 2014, yes. I already have a job, checked. I had travelled after graduation and am still planning to travel more, uh uh. But what my dad was trying to hint me was whether I am ready for the next part of life; finding someone to share my life with. And this whole issue of getting together, being in a relationship have been bugging me. Because one, my dad isn’t the only who have been asking and two, almost all of my friends are getting somewhere. I haven’t give a lot of consideration or a lot of thinking about this issue. Not until my dad asked me about. Right now, I feel as I am back in secondary school, facing these peer pressures all over again. Back then, I thought I would have gone through the phase of peer pressure and not facing such when I am an adult. But nope, I am having these peer pressures on me. #LIFE.

That aside. Spent about 4 days at Bangkok with Jouie. First time being there and well, I think I will give it another chance next time. It was a nice short trip out of Singapore during the break. Rested, shopped and ate. I realised I haven’t been going for a short trip since forever. Most of the trips I went took at least 14 days and above. It was weird packing so little things and carrying a light luggage. But I guess it’s something that I have to settle with during the short break that we had. Bangkok was fun with Jouie. Learnt lots of things and experience quite a culture there. Would probably find some time in 2014 to head back there since I have (sort of) plans for summer, autumn and winter trips in 2013.

A pretty quick update today. I really hope I have more time to blog because I miss doing so.

Then again, I have no idea who exactly reads this. OTL.

till then,
toodles (:

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Winter 2012

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Currently, having caramel macchiato and the most awesome tiramisu I ever tasted at a Twosome Place, a dessert cafe located at Myeon-dong, Seoul. This cafe apparently replaced the awesome spicy octopus dish that I had back in winter 2010 and summer 2012 holidays. Was so disappointed when I came this time round and found out that the shop had closed and replaced by this cafe. BUT! I am not complaining. This a Twosome Place actually serves tiramisu that you could die for. One of the best I had! The coffee .. Are just coffee because I think the caramel macchiato that I had at Holly’s Coffee cafe was the best coffee I had in Seoul, ever. But the best cafe I ever been to, is the Conan Cafe located at Hongdae. A small cozy cafe with good coffee and toast, where you can just chill with your friends.

Oh, so much words. Would love to insert the pictures of these cafes but currently using the iPad to blog out. Didn’t bring out the laptop because one, I forgot to charge it before hand and two, I’m lazy to bring. And have I mentioned that I love Myeondong? Probably because it is the first area that I stayed during my first trip down to Seoul. I think it’s more because.. I don’t know. I just like it here. The crowd, the people, the cafesssss. Speaking of which, there’s actually this cafe here which run by handsome guys, but it’s Sunday today and they close on Sunday and I can’t go there right now to chill my last night away. ): it’s not because of the guys okay? The cafe is just cosy enough to spend the time alone and relax or read a book or something.

Yup, it is the last night of my winter 2012 holidays and I think I am coming back next year, during summer. hopefully! This isn’t a solo trip but a trip with the best friend who is currently back at home, resting while I am here, enjoying a cup of coffee and the awesome tiramisu on my last night. I love winter, I love cold weather and I like warm weather. I don’t know. I just like coming here ok? But I really really love winter. Just that my body hates it. Totally prone to getting frost bites and I have to wrap myself up fully WHICH I did not exactly do it. HAH.

Christmas songs are currently playing at almost every shops around here because Christmas is just around the corner. It would be nice to spend the festive season with someone, I think. haha. Winter is making me feel a little lonely. Really. But then again, my life just started and I think my career life just started and I’m trying to piece my life together after mugging/studying for almost 16 years! I see no room for relationship in the next couple of months. And the plan to going back to school in 2014/15 is already on its way.

Ugh, love the way my life is right now, like the way how the plans are like, hate the fact that I’m such an indecisive person.

There are so many things going on in my head right now and the cafe closes at 11pm.. So … I’m going use whatever time is remaining to keep the thoughts going and hopefully make them comprehensive enough for me to type things out.

A little late, but I am done with school! Graduated with Bachelor of Pschology from James Cook University. Currently working and totally loving the job. It’s got to be one of the most rewarding job, ever! Apparently, most of my friends and family members didn’t expect me to take an education role after the expensive degree and all the stress I went through but this is something that I had wanted for a really long time. So my personality when I’m with my friends/family doesn’t match with what I am doing but really, those who actually know how I am with kids, I am actually a totally different me. And nope, I am not pretending. It is just the way I am. Why must I pretend to be someone I am not and at the end of the day, I am just too tired pretending? Right? So chill.. I really love this job. I foresee myself being here for a while. So stop judging and give me some motivation and support alright? My parents, both the mum and dad, had been supportive from the start. And I am really thankful for them. Plus Syaherah? She got to be my best friend ever. From the start of my horrendous draft for my résumé to the interviews, she was there and am still here. Love her a lot, really.. Although… I never exactly express my love to her. Hahahahahaha. In fact, Nur Syafinah Adnan and Maimunah Mansor were there for me too. Really, these two juniors of mine actually brings colors, laughters and nonsensical stuff in my life, almost EVERY day. Love you girls ok? Hhaha.

The last part sound so cheesssssyyy. I think the winter cold is getting on my emotional side. Or maybe it’s the coffee. I don’t know. Hahaha. This is ridiculous, I think I am having mood swing. Hahahahahaha. Or emotional under control. Hmm, I am not making any sense, am I? I am just typing whatever is coming through my mind. Right, so..

I actually lost the train of thoughts because this cute little Korean kid just called her mom loudly in this somewhat serene and quiet cafe. Hahaha. Oh man, I’m going to miss this place real bad. Why can’t the cafes in Singapore be this awesome? 서울.. 많이 좋아.. ^^

Ugh… My Korean is so bad right now. My teacher is probably gonna whack me when I go back for lessons. Gonna plead to her to be extra nice to me next year. And got to revise before I go back for lessons. So exciting yet so stressful.

Alright, the cafe is going to close in about 14 mins, and there are still so many thing on my mind. Ridiculous how my thoughts are running from here to there and everywhere. 2012 is going to end, and as much as I love 2012, it has been really a good year, I can’t wait for 2013. I wonder what surprises are install next year. This would probably not be the last post of the year. I am sure I will be logging in soon to do the end of the year post. Just need to gather my thoughts more… Organized. Teeeehee.

This time round, didn’t meet any new friends. But it’s okay. There will always be a next time. The highlight for this trip is probably the meet ups with Jin (: she’s all grown up now and I had the best time hanging out with her. So thankful that she’s in Seoul. Won’t be able to see her here next year onwards since she will be at Australia, pursuing her degree.

Okay, this is really the end. The cafe going to close!

till then,
toddles

p/s: I can’t wait to be back ^^ 안녕히 주무세요!

Six Degrees of Freedom

I haven’t been blogging, pardon me for the lack of updates. It’s not that I have been busy, nor have been free either. It’s just the “haven’t been updating for awhile” phase because I had lack the drive to blog things that has been occurring in my life out.

I am not exactly going to pour exactly everything. But you bet that I had the time of my life this year, in June. An awesome summer to be remembered for the rest of my life. There were things that weren’t nice but heck, good times beats over the (little) bad times. Never felt that free before, and I had it. It was a blast!

I told a friend back then that all I ever want to do is work with children, kids. Something like a teacher. It was just a random conversation back then in the poly days but hey, I am not complaining on how things turn out. Things, just happen I guess. I’m a planner, that’s for sure. But suck thumb, I will never ever follow the plans I have for myself. It’s like I have this planning going on in my head, wrote in down somewhere and chuck in aside. Then I work towards making the plan works and making in happen. But things don’t usually go the way we want them to be. So along the way, based on feelings and the environment and the people and of course, the circumstances, the plan that I had planned have to make minor adjustments in them. And everything kind of work out, which I am really glad and thankful for.

To sum up my life, it just getting started!

I’m appreciating every single day I am having now and am always looking forward to the next day and the next and next! It’s pretty the same routine but with a little twist. Let’s just say everyday I wake up to many possibilities and unpredictable-ness.

I am happy, right now. Happy with the things that has been happening. I am glad for these few friends that have been there since the very start. But I shall leave the thanks and appreciation post to them some other time where I will be in my own room and on my super comfortable bed.

I can’t wait for December.
Winter 2012, I can’t wait to see you! (:

till then,
toodles!

Don’t Wanna..

I’m fucking fine, is that what you want to hear? I’m not actually and if you’re going to ask why. I don’t know, I don’t know, I. DON’T KNOW. Everything just bothers me. Stupid small things tick off my temper. I wake up every morning dreading to go to school. I simply don’t like anything. I think I’m losing my fucking mind. I don’t who or what to believe. I don’t even know who to go to anymore to talk. You ask me what’s wrong. Not realizing maybe it’s you and all your shit load of bs. There is that an answer that satisfies you?

– credits to tumblr.

Have been having mood swings lately. Just, mood swings.

ANYWAY.

I am counting down, hell yeah I am.
When 1st of June 2012 arrives, I cannot wait to tell the world that I am done with my thesis, done with school (for now). I want to sprawl on my bed, hours long. No one should disrupt the peace that I am planning for myself after submission. I just want to me alone and indulge in this little space that I am creating for a moment to breathe, freely and adjusting myself to the new phase. Ice creams, yes. I am going to have ice cream with fellow schoolmates before isolating myself just that day.

Hell yeah, I can’t wait.

Right now, I am dreading everything. Dreading the number of words I have, dreading the number of editing I need to do. Dreading the mess in my room, in my head. Dreading everything that is being pushed towards me. Dreading the weather, dreading the traffic. Basically, dreading everything. The minute I open my eyes every morning till the minute I close my eyes to sleep at night. Dreading, dreading, dreading.

But it’s all going to be over soon.
And I am going to miss this, somewhere, in the future. The life of a Student.

That being said, amidst all these dreading(s) and catching up with work and sleep, I have been enjoying a good variety of music to accompany me through the days and nights. From old English pop songs to classical orchestra works to recordings of the pieces from the bands I had performed with to Korean music to Westlife songs (on repeat, shuffle mode, from their old songs to current singles) to every kind of music that I have came across and enjoyed myself. And this music inspiration or whatever you called, started out with just a simple video posted by my conductor on facebook.

I think music is one of those things in life that can tugged that little heart of ours. I don’t know why, but I was greatly moved by this simple music. Doubt it will happen in Singapore, but I would love to be part of this, somewhere, someday. I think the only reason why I was moved by this is just because I had enough of stuffs that is going on around me. And somehow, this is kind of a ‘reliever’ I need and had. Never felt better that morning than any other mornings I had so far. And just because of this, I went on to search other music that had probably touched me or give me some send of ‘relax state of mind’ which is what I really need now.

A short update, I guess although I urged to type more. No time, need to get ready for class.

11 more days baby!

 

 

here’s…

I really have not much time left. The number is decreasing rapidly fast, and time, really, waits for no one. It’s getting in me, the emergency and the importance on how little time I am left with. I didn’t foresee what will happen when I decided to take up the fourth year (research year) or how much work needs to be done. But decision had already been made and I am at the last lap to the end of my degree education. It seems so near yet seem so far. 1st June to end all of this madness. I am more than halfway through this journey, can’t stop now, can I?