Of café and latté


And about 6 months later, I’m back at the same café that I was at on my last night of #winter2012 holidays. It’s summer now, and the weather is just… damn hot. I really like winter, more than I like summer. But I like both seasons, so I guess I’m just fine with anything.

Anyway, things had been good so far but I think it won’t last long before all the pile of work loading, attending a weekly course on top of the weekly lessons that I am currently enrolled. Next major event will be Hari Raya Celebration which means fasting month is just around the corner! I will be a (better) saint and do what I am suppose to do and hopefully this time, there’s a change in me or something, spiritually or rather religiously. Or rather, I want to be a better person that I already am right now (I am good, but I think I have the potential to be better, you know?).


FINALY, attended my graduation ceremony last month. Waited for almost a year just for this day when I had received the paper, I mean the certificate, of my studies in Bachelor of Psychology. It was a huhuhaha thing because hey! this bloody paper cost almost S$60k! And going on stage to take the degree is like woohooo, I’m done with my bachelor studies yo! And the excitement dies a bit, because it was just a piece of paper after all the damn hardwork that was put in. Then again, isn’t this life? Studying, getting your papers (certificates, i mean) and get a job. I may be just whining about how all the hardwork I had put in translate to just a piece of paper but I cannot really express my joy when I had actually received that piece of paper. I mean, I had manage to finish the full course of education a Singaporean child expected to do. Albeit I didn’t do A levels. I had survived  3 years of pre-school education, 6 years of primary school education earning myself a PSLE certificate  4 years of secondary school education where I got my O levels certificate and instead of enrolling to do A levels at a Junior college, I completed a 3 years of education in Polytechnic earning myself a Diploma in Property Development and Facilities Management and then, I just got myself a Bachelor of Psychology degree upon completing my undergraduate studies of 3 1/2 years. That’s like 19 1/2 years of my life spent on studying. I’m 24 this year, mind you. HAHA. This paragraph sounds ridiculously annoying. I had just spent the less 5 minutes typing this out about the number of years I went through studying. THEN again, this is not the end. I’m already targeting 2015 to be the year I will be doing my graduate studies in education or maybe education psychology or just psychology. Who knows?

It’s true you know, when they say learning doesn’t stop. It’s a journey. A journey to find more knowledge and wisdom. Learning won’t stop until you take your last breath.

I’ve been sitting at the cafe since 7pm and I don’t want to go home yet! Am so comfy in this cafe and I have yet to finish the tiramisu! A Twosome Coffee tiramisu is really a cake to die for! I lost my track of thoughts, and I guess it’s time for me to pack up and head back home.

till then,


Six Degrees of Freedom

I haven’t been blogging, pardon me for the lack of updates. It’s not that I have been busy, nor have been free either. It’s just the “haven’t been updating for awhile” phase because I had lack the drive to blog things that has been occurring in my life out.

I am not exactly going to pour exactly everything. But you bet that I had the time of my life this year, in June. An awesome summer to be remembered for the rest of my life. There were things that weren’t nice but heck, good times beats over the (little) bad times. Never felt that free before, and I had it. It was a blast!

I told a friend back then that all I ever want to do is work with children, kids. Something like a teacher. It was just a random conversation back then in the poly days but hey, I am not complaining on how things turn out. Things, just happen I guess. I’m a planner, that’s for sure. But suck thumb, I will never ever follow the plans I have for myself. It’s like I have this planning going on in my head, wrote in down somewhere and chuck in aside. Then I work towards making the plan works and making in happen. But things don’t usually go the way we want them to be. So along the way, based on feelings and the environment and the people and of course, the circumstances, the plan that I had planned have to make minor adjustments in them. And everything kind of work out, which I am really glad and thankful for.

To sum up my life, it just getting started!

I’m appreciating every single day I am having now and am always looking forward to the next day and the next and next! It’s pretty the same routine but with a little twist. Let’s just say everyday I wake up to many possibilities and unpredictable-ness.

I am happy, right now. Happy with the things that has been happening. I am glad for these few friends that have been there since the very start. But I shall leave the thanks and appreciation post to them some other time where I will be in my own room and on my super comfortable bed.

I can’t wait for December.
Winter 2012, I can’t wait to see you! (:

till then,

Don’t Wanna..

I’m fucking fine, is that what you want to hear? I’m not actually and if you’re going to ask why. I don’t know, I don’t know, I. DON’T KNOW. Everything just bothers me. Stupid small things tick off my temper. I wake up every morning dreading to go to school. I simply don’t like anything. I think I’m losing my fucking mind. I don’t who or what to believe. I don’t even know who to go to anymore to talk. You ask me what’s wrong. Not realizing maybe it’s you and all your shit load of bs. There is that an answer that satisfies you?

– credits to tumblr.

Have been having mood swings lately. Just, mood swings.


I am counting down, hell yeah I am.
When 1st of June 2012 arrives, I cannot wait to tell the world that I am done with my thesis, done with school (for now). I want to sprawl on my bed, hours long. No one should disrupt the peace that I am planning for myself after submission. I just want to me alone and indulge in this little space that I am creating for a moment to breathe, freely and adjusting myself to the new phase. Ice creams, yes. I am going to have ice cream with fellow schoolmates before isolating myself just that day.

Hell yeah, I can’t wait.

Right now, I am dreading everything. Dreading the number of words I have, dreading the number of editing I need to do. Dreading the mess in my room, in my head. Dreading everything that is being pushed towards me. Dreading the weather, dreading the traffic. Basically, dreading everything. The minute I open my eyes every morning till the minute I close my eyes to sleep at night. Dreading, dreading, dreading.

But it’s all going to be over soon.
And I am going to miss this, somewhere, in the future. The life of a Student.

That being said, amidst all these dreading(s) and catching up with work and sleep, I have been enjoying a good variety of music to accompany me through the days and nights. From old English pop songs to classical orchestra works to recordings of the pieces from the bands I had performed with to Korean music to Westlife songs (on repeat, shuffle mode, from their old songs to current singles) to every kind of music that I have came across and enjoyed myself. And this music inspiration or whatever you called, started out with just a simple video posted by my conductor on facebook.

I think music is one of those things in life that can tugged that little heart of ours. I don’t know why, but I was greatly moved by this simple music. Doubt it will happen in Singapore, but I would love to be part of this, somewhere, someday. I think the only reason why I was moved by this is just because I had enough of stuffs that is going on around me. And somehow, this is kind of a ‘reliever’ I need and had. Never felt better that morning than any other mornings I had so far. And just because of this, I went on to search other music that had probably touched me or give me some send of ‘relax state of mind’ which is what I really need now.

A short update, I guess although I urged to type more. No time, need to get ready for class.

11 more days baby!




I really have not much time left. The number is decreasing rapidly fast, and time, really, waits for no one. It’s getting in me, the emergency and the importance on how little time I am left with. I didn’t foresee what will happen when I decided to take up the fourth year (research year) or how much work needs to be done. But decision had already been made and I am at the last lap to the end of my degree education. It seems so near yet seem so far. 1st June to end all of this madness. I am more than halfway through this journey, can’t stop now, can I?

Somewhere, someday

59 days to the end of this madness I am having.
2 more months before I am leaving this insane schedule I am creating/having.
161st; I am counting on you to be the source of the motivation I need.

Just in March alone, it has been crazy. The fact that I have schedules to keep up with and things to be completed just in March alone, has been totally crazy. The last time this craziness happened was back in 2008 where I have concerts and performances almost every other week, intense rehearsals every other day on top of the daily school days to attend and assignments to be done. But that has ended with a good 2 weeks trip to Italy. This March, instead of ending with something, April will be filled with the leftover “stress” from March and the time to catch up with the thesis writing plus the fact that I got to work weekly. If March screams CRAZY, April and probably May screams MADNESS. Even though the time of the month have arrived this month, I think that’s not the only contributor to my intense high level of temper flares and annoyance. As much as I am not proud to say this, my anger management is getting out of control. And this, just irritates the hell out of me.

It’s the phase that I am facing that I am screaming for space. If you are within my space, be thankful you are still alive. It’s probably because you have yet to cross over and test my patience. But if you do, please forgive me for my highly sarcasm and other words/actions that may be directed to you. I am truly sorry if my temper goes out of  hand, but this overwhelming feeling I am having is getting the best of me and truth to behold, I am doing little to control it. Simply because I am tired of pleasing other people, I just want to please myself. If i am angry, I will be angry. If I want to cry, I will cry. Because once awhile, in my life, I just want to be myself and engaged with the emotions I am facing.

And ..

I have been neglecting my friends. So screw me, for not being the good friend.