Stats is just so .. stats.

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Time check: 4:31PM

The weather is all gloomy now and no need to predict what comes next. Rain gonna fall and the lecture/study room gonna freeze. Wednesday is all about statistic and mid term paper will begin in less than 3 hours from now. I really hope I can scape through later with all my might. I am prepared, but not well prepared enough to conquer every evils stats had got to offer so far.

I’m going to get ready now but the nerves are seriously not helping. I’m gonna calm myself before anything.

Gah, the fear and anxiety for stats!

till then,
toodles

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I am a Procrastinator!

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First and foremost, I fucking miss all my friends. So hello friends, I miss you guys!

I think time is being unfair, I just started school like 4 weeks ago, and I just had my presentation done and over with and a mid term test coming up this Friday. And it has been freaking 4 weeks of school and it seems only yesterday that I whine about how much I am not looking forward to school, at all. Fuck, what have I been doing for the past 4 weeks then? Well, apart from whining, and stoning trying to listen in class and catching up with the school workload, I had been  .. relatively free. (If you minus the time I spent tutoring and working) I have been free and that time had been spent on the bed, doing absolutely nothing. I was totally nua-ing and that’s like best thing ever because doing nothing simply means doing nothing.

I was so determined to open up my Psychometrics text upon reaching home from a stats lecture just now. But hoho, the minute I reached home and saw my comfy little bed, I couldn’t help but to give in to the temptation of lying down and just nua. Someone should probably stay in with me and like lecture me to do my work (plus cleaning up my room) and slap my face or something every time I want to nua.

I should really stop complaining and whining and like really, and i mean it, REALLY, stop PROCRASTINATING
On a side note, I actually wrote “is the way of life” beside the “Procrastination” on my tutorial question for my psychometrics. I am just awesome like that.

And because I am awesome, I am going to log off and sleep.

Good night.

till then,
toodles

Ganglion Cells

Dear friends,

Tuesday was spent in school, learning all about the eye. Nono, let me correct it. It’s about the rods and cones and the cells and that ganglion cells and the light and that Na+ and K+ and LGN and the nerves and all of that including the visual spectrum of lights and that wavelength and that kind of thing that got to do with eye.

This is a pretty much random post, because I am seriously bored in school, right now.

till then,
toodles

>life, as it is.

>

Week 2 for school is ending pretty much in one day and the comes the long weekend. School, so far so good. Nothing in mind to have a rant on how awesome (not) school has been. I am enjoying social psychology lecture very much. It’s very real, very deep and has very strong “impact” on daily life. Principles of Counseling is nice and I really like my tutorial tutor. She’s very Singaporean and she makes the tutorial like a never ending story tale, if you get what I mean. And the fact that I love Thursday and Friday a lot is because I GET TO SIT IN CLASS WITH GOH SHUXIAN, like yay! We can like stare, bitch and whatever we feel like doing in class. And omg, I think I am the slowest around that this semester is real shit. Fucking crammed and packed. Not only that. I just peaked at my organizer and my days are filled with school (including datelines for presentation and assignments) and work and band and concert up till Christmas. I think, I have such a sad social life. I think my social life now revolves totally around school, band and work. I mean, yeah, where else could it be right? What I mean was, never mind. I don’t even get what I am trying to say here.

Anyway, skip the next part if you guys want. I am having some rant desire.

I haven’t been exactly conversing well with myself and people. I don’t know how to converse, healthily. I had the fact that my mind is clouded with unnecessary thoughts and in a very mixed up condition. No. It’s more of like, I hate the fact that my mind is loaded with things that I am refusing to remember. It’s like as if all the past is haunting me now and I am telling you, this is not the right time. The worse part of it all, I feel so numb, I let the past flash in my mind. I don’t feel that pain or hurt or sad or what. I feel numb and I am pretty much annoyed by the fact of it. I mean, why think about the past when you feel nothing? And this is why I hate how the mind works. For once, I wish that mind will dutifully communicate with the heart and stop transmitting the wrong signals or whatever to each other. At the end of the day, it’s me who suffers, not that. Okay, I know I am not making sense. It’s like as in my mind, heart and me is not in one body, one spirit. I just hate the fact that me, the mind and the heart works separately. Oh why, why can’t we get along just fine?

I need a time to break down. 
You know, a point where I can just break down and yeah. You get what I mean.

Sometimes, I don’t know whether it’s just me or them or maybe it has always been me. The people I met and be friends with eventually leave. Either that, or I walk away from them. Even so, I have no define reasons why this had happen. I am never good at relationship, of any kind. I guess, I just suck as a friend. And I really don’t know what to do when these friends of mine, will walk away and eventually leave. But I know for sure, I will do what I do best. Walk away and then just pretend things are actually fine. Or maybe, if I am brave enough, I will walk away first before they do. Isn’t that the case where feelings and things left unsaid is much more better than hearing the things you don’t wish to hear and feelings you want to avoid?

I need to face the world, with a happy bright smile.
Shit, I feel damn emo.

till then,
toodles

>School’s In.

>

I haven’t been blogging much for the past weeks because there’s really nothing in my mind to blog things out. Every time I log in to blogger, I kind of have some mind-blockage or something because although my fingers itch to type things away, I kind of have no idea what to say.

Anyway, 3 weeks holidays gone just like that and SP53’10 started today. First lesson of the semester was Social Psychology. Kind of looking forward to the things to be learnt in this module. The lecturer gave this good impression and I kind of like her flow of lecture, which is good because this means, I will be listening and not sleeping in class. The bad side about school today was the physical state of the school. It can be described as disastrous. I can totally feel and look at the effort put in by the school to upgrade the facilities and such. Not that I am complaining but the school is in a mess, and with lectures and construction works going on at the same, that is totally a turn off. While lecturers are straining their voices, the construction works acts as the background music. It’s so not conducive environment for us, both students and lecturers, at all. Okay, honestly, I was just purely pissed, with the noise.

Apart from that, I MISS GOH SHU XIAN ):

WHY AREN’T YOU TAKING SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY WITH ME?! *emoz*

AND NO MORE INDIAN FOOD STALL IN SCHOOL. I IS ANGRY.
No more prata and the awesome rice with the awesome dishes.

Oh yeah, DECEMBER FASTER FLY.
Okay bye. I want to dream of bagels.

till then,
toodles

>4th Week

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It’s already the 4th week of school and next week is already the term break. One presentation is done and over with and there are still thousands of other assignments to tackle and conquer. I’m so going to die because I have been any way near productive. I don’t even want to think about the assignments to come. Blame on the 3 school days a week or another way to see it is the freaking 4 days weekend which left me with no choice buy procrastinate my time away. I am seriously need to find the random motivation drive that will only come to me once awhile or when it feel like teasing me to study or do my work in the wee morning.

You know how they say you know he’s right one when he’s right in front of you? I think I’ve found one but never dare to admit fully that he’s the one. It works in the complicated way in my mind, and I’ve never had that big faith in love and relationship, at least not the committing and such. It scares the hell of out me, and still am. That’s probably why I think relationship is not on my priority list as of now. In future, this might change but for now, that stays. I was comfortable with the whole thing until you have to come along and mess up my mind. You are my current distraction that I want to get rid of.

till then,
toodles

>Week #2

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It’s already the second week of school except that I haven’t attend any lectures just yet because it’s only Tuesday and I have school on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Don’t ask why. It just happened to be this way ok? And I have dropped environmental psychology and don’t ask as well. It will be give me headaches to think on how to explain in the best terms ever. Results were out like 2 days ago and I am satisfied with my overall performance for last semester. This semester will be a tough rock solid mental draining semester that I need to pull through with the best of my abilities. If you notice by now, I am babbling nonsense because my mind and soul is currently out of  my body.

I think Teadot at Tampines One is a nice place to chill, talk and do some work despite of the normal noise from a typical shopping centre. Then again, I think it’s an awesome place to just sit and down and an enjoy a cup of awesome tea and mouth watering cakes. It feels somewhat home-y yet not so home-y. Oh well, you got to be here to enjoy it. The service? 4 out of 5. The only low factor is that the chair is not as comfy as I thought it will be.

It’s already July, half of 2010 gone. What have you been doing? What have I been doing? Mostly slacking, trying to find the meaning of life, and other unnecessary things. It was one of the great first half of the year and I hope the next half will be even better. And I really want July to end fast with all the band rehearsals coming on, I don’t think I can have any time to breathe. NBC this coming Saturday and SIBF on the 25th. In between, massive amount of rehearsals to attend. Bummer ):

To cut this entry short, life’s sucks but I’m moving on.
Heading to Sp for rehearsal now. Early? I know. I think I need that warming up time. I’m so emo. URGH.

till then,
toodles

p/s: Hi susu, my awesome bestie. Stop drooling at your phone!