Hello space.

A really quick update.

I missed typing word after word, building up a paragraph after a paragraph. I missed that moment when I can just sit down at the comfort zone with a cup of coffee in my hand and gathering my thoughts, forming them into words and sentences and just let it burst through the fingertips typing it all out.

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To sum up my life since the last update, BUSY.

It’s a pretty bad excuse to not update this space of mine but all I want to do every single day is to just catch up the hours of sleep that I had missed or to just snuggle under my blankets (yes, even though Singapore’s weather screams HOT AND HUMID). I am just that tired and I swear I have a lot of things in my mind to just let out.

But being this busy is good. It’s the healthy kind of busy. I enjoy my work and I think as of now, there’s nothing more than this, more than where I want to be. These past months had been eventful. So many things that had happened, so many feelings and emotions got invested, so many wonderful, painful, beautiful memories created. I have no idea where to start, really. One thing for sure, this kind of busy is my kind of busy. It’s something that I had adapted to back in the diploma days where I had 6 days of intensive band rehearsals (and sectionals) every week  on top of the regular school hours and where Mondays were my only off days which I have school to attend to you. It’s the kind of busy I had missed, a kind of busy where I know I was being productive and wasting no time at all.

Then again, being this busy makes you lose few things or so. I haven’t been going out to enjoy myself for ages. I have overdue meet ups with friends that were sealed with words and promises but I just had no time to make time to meet and chill because I had been busy in other parts of my life (i.e. work and language classes) and keep postponing just because … I was busy. Heck, I haven’t had any me time for myself. There last me time I had was back in summer in Seoul, where I was wondering around in circles, exploring, having a cup of good damn coffee and slices of tiramisu and a couple of donuts.

And here I am now, typing this out because I finally got the time and motivation to log in and update this space of mine. I am on leave, and all that I have been doing since the start of my leave is sleep. Yes, sleep. I only go out when my friends ask me out. Other than that, I am at home, in the comfort of my room, sleeping, resting, nua-ing. I know I know. I am wasting like chunks and chunks of time but I guess I had reached my peak of exhaustion that the minute I was on leave, my whole body shuts down to just recuperate – physically, mentally, emotionally.

Anyway, pictures highlighting the events that had occurred the past months.

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A very good friend of mine got married back in September! (: So happy for her! It was two days worth of celebration and had enjoyed every moment of it. Wishes the best in her marriage and last forever babe! ^^ One down, 6 more to go.

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I finally went to Universal Studio Singapore (USS) courtesy of my work. I know, loser. HAHAHA. I am just the kind of person who wouldn’t pay to go in such places because I don’t play rides. I know, loser again. HAHAHA. I AM TERRIFIED OF RIDES. LIKE WOAHHHHHHHH. Actually, I will go ah. Just that I will have a hard time parting away from the money spent ……

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One thing strike out of the bucket list! I WENT TO THE DAMN GREAT WALL OF CHINA!!!!! HAHAHA. Sorry the sudden burst. Been wanting to go since the day I know of its existence and the day I went, I was like woahh, I am really here!  Didn’t went up all the way because of the time constraint but I would love to go again to finish climbing. Was told that we have about 1 – 2 more fortress before the end. RAWRR, that will be on my bucket list – to climb all the way to the top of the great wall of China!

A pretty dorky kind of post but there are so many things I want to update so that I can read it over and over again in future with the stupid goofy smile on my face. That being said, I think I have reach the limit of my words capacity and the time to blog.

till then,
toodles

This is crazy,

(credits to tumblr)

ZOMG.

It’s been ages since I last logged in to wordpress despite of the urges to sit down and type the chunks and chunks of words that have been running through my mind. I have been busy, period. I did logged in a couple of times but my mind just went zzaapppped! and nothing comes in mind to blog things out. Since I have the time now and the huge urge to blog, might as well.

Life has been busy. (Have I mentioned that already?) It’s pretty much about working and work and nothing much about the personal and social parts of it. 2013 so far, has just been about being busy. I don’t even know what I am busy with sometimes. All I know I had work, and then I met up with a couple of friends now and then and pretty much just about work. It’s pretty routine but I don’t find any “mundane” about it yet. Perhaps it’s because of my job scope where I will wake up in the morning and facing the unknown of possibilities and situations that day. I like the thrill of it. Waking up, getting ready for work and not sure what I will face that day. I just seems to enjoy my work. I do have some complaints but it’s parts and parcel of the job and life, I guess. No job is perfect. There are always that pros and cons, the ups and downs of the job (and even life!). But, if you enjoy what you do, then there’s nothing really much to complaint.

I’m not sure how people’s 2013 started but I know mine started on the bad side. 2013, at least for the month of January, is about doing something new, something for the first time, something that if I don’t do it now, I would still have to do it later. It was bad, just bad and I thought I couldn’t handle the stress and load that was coming with it. But with little encouragement from friends and family, a little motivation from within myself, I am like Hey! I can do this. If I don’t do it now, I would still have to do it later. Might as well, suck this all it and just do it. And so I did. It was about 3 months ago and I realised that I have always had this fear when I am doing something for the first time. But I’m over it now and I think I am handling it well myself. Of course with the help from friends, family and colleagues. (:

A couple of weeks ago, my dad asked me what’s next in life. All I did was stared at him and went like, oh no, I’ve no idea. I am planning to take my masters in 2014, yes. I already have a job, checked. I had travelled after graduation and am still planning to travel more, uh uh. But what my dad was trying to hint me was whether I am ready for the next part of life; finding someone to share my life with. And this whole issue of getting together, being in a relationship have been bugging me. Because one, my dad isn’t the only who have been asking and two, almost all of my friends are getting somewhere. I haven’t give a lot of consideration or a lot of thinking about this issue. Not until my dad asked me about. Right now, I feel as I am back in secondary school, facing these peer pressures all over again. Back then, I thought I would have gone through the phase of peer pressure and not facing such when I am an adult. But nope, I am having these peer pressures on me. #LIFE.

That aside. Spent about 4 days at Bangkok with Jouie. First time being there and well, I think I will give it another chance next time. It was a nice short trip out of Singapore during the break. Rested, shopped and ate. I realised I haven’t been going for a short trip since forever. Most of the trips I went took at least 14 days and above. It was weird packing so little things and carrying a light luggage. But I guess it’s something that I have to settle with during the short break that we had. Bangkok was fun with Jouie. Learnt lots of things and experience quite a culture there. Would probably find some time in 2014 to head back there since I have (sort of) plans for summer, autumn and winter trips in 2013.

A pretty quick update today. I really hope I have more time to blog because I miss doing so.

Then again, I have no idea who exactly reads this. OTL.

till then,
toodles (:

Thus far,

I always say things like, “I’m done”, or “I can’t to this anymore”. But usually, at the end of the day I end up running back, or talking to a person that I wanted to block out of my life, or talking to someone I was mad at. I don’t know, maybe I blow things out of proportion, but just once, I want to finally listen to my my brain instead of my heart. Because clearly, my brain hasn’t been hurt like my heart has.

credit: loveisnothingmore

As I am waiting for my dinner to be semi and fully digested in my tummy, I thought I should blog while waiting. I am simply full from a very simple dinner I had about few minutes ago and thus, with a really fully filled tummy, I can’t find that motivation to get the drill going with my revision. To get back that, I shall wait for a few moments to pass before picking up from I left it.

I haven’t been blogging a lot lately and one, who frequents here, might think that I had abandon this blog. Truthfully, there are a lot of times when I had logged in to blog but my fingers simply refuses to move and I can’t think of anything non personal to blog about. Furthermore, the past month, I was chasing after the weekly deadlines that school has spammed us with and I would say that this semester had been quite a smooth sailing of assignment of me. Firstly, I think I did pretty well for my assignments amidst the weekly back to back deadlines. Secondly, if you had been friends with me since say .. the secondary school years, I had never, and I mean like never ever, complete my assignments way ahead of the the datelines. I am true-blue procrastinator when comes to assignment, whether it’s overly loaded with work or not and I usually, only, have that motivation drive to start the work say, like a day or two before the actual dateline. But this semester, for the final two assignment due, I completed both like 2 to 3 days way ahead of the dateline. Trust me, I did it. You guys better be proud of me yo!

And yeah, after the dreading assignments, comes the exams. Technically, I am in my final semester PROVIDED I have successfully pass my level 3 statistics module and decided to continue to 4th year. But I have no idea what’s the result since I just took stats exam last Wed and have decided to continue 4th year, I have about say, a year more to go till graduation. That being rambled, I really hope that I can clear the statistic and really hope my answers make sense because I find the paper quite do-able and I hope my confident won’t be overly confident that I will get disappointment at the end. I am left with two papers, Monday and Wednesday and holidays will come rolling in.

I don’t think I am planning any overseas trip this time round since I managed to get out of the country about 2 weeks ago. It was just a much needed short 4 days 3 nights trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with the girlfriends – Susu, Nina and Syaa. And I conclude that I should stop planning for random overseas trip because all the money that I am saving to get new lens or get a mini camera or something else, I end up using them for the trip. Tsk. Sometimes, I wonder why I save so much for an electronic and then just using the money for a trip. BUT I CAN’T COMPLAINT. I rather travel than anything else. The thought of just having that ticket and a passport gives me that sense of trills and adventure, no matter where the destination is. Just the thought of getting out this country gives me this much sense of satisfaction. If I can do this all time, I will. And because of this desire to keep traveling, my dad told me that he had upgraded my insurance to a premium one that has travel coverages and stuff. He says that my fickle mind and impulsive behavior towards traveling is unpredictable and he foresee that this is just the beginning of my little adventure of my life.

I really cannot wait to get this degree done and over with. A year more seems so far away, but that being said, the journey towards the end of it is unknown still. I have to get the result from this semester to know whether I will be graduating in June 2012 or later. That being said, I can’t seem to get the travel bug out of me. And I am really much in the need to have an overseas trip this coming end of this year. I really want to get spend and greet the new year in another country. Anyone free to go with me? Anywhere will do. I just need that i need to get out of this country moment.

It’s going to be end of May soon and June will come greeting us. It going be the mid year and the next thing you know 2011 has ended and 2012 is greeting you. I have plans laid out in 2012, including that much waited (we waited for almost a year plus!) Boracay trip that the girls (Syaa & Nina) has been forever fussing, discussing and planning done, and all I need now is just to get my degree done and over with. I have more than two options in hand on how my 2012 and how my future is going to be. And if things go well, and everything is well plan,  I need to get the bookings done in December. Hey, the earlier you book, the cheaper it is. And the best part, daddy let me do what I want to do ♥

I can’t wait for exams to be over, really. And July going to be a good month for a new start I guess. July is about learning something new which is actually just attending Mandarin classes and urm, well driving. I kind of see the need to have that card that entitles me to drive legally. And yes, you guys better nag/scold/drag me if I don’t start the lesson coz you will be doing my dad a huge favor by doing so.

Okay, I feel better now. Time to kill the notes.

till then,
toddles!

Words, mind and the self.

Sometimes I wonder the purpose of me having an online diary, or blog. I started this whole journey of blogging back in 2004, where curiosity leads me to open one back then. Since then, I couldn’t stop blogging. It used to be a platform of typing out the routines of my daily life to frustration lines about how much I hated something or someone back then. I have changed the link of the blog countless of time till I recently moved from blogger to wordpress. Looking back the past entries, I have grown up in a lot of ways and the way I wrote back then till now differs so much. It was much of the la and the le and the random typing lik3 tHis or spelling of words that actually make sense but totally wrong such as sumthink or euu and stuff like that. Slowly, I realize I don’t exactly talk about what  I did during the day and from daily updates then, it has now become when I feel like typing things out kind of updates. I remember I used to be so obsessed with updating daily that if I don’t do so, my day won’t be complete. It’s crazy to think about it but I guess I can say that I have grown up from that phase.

Blogging now, to me, still serve the same purpose except that I don’t exactly update everyday and update about what I did though out the week. It’s more of letting my thoughts flow into whatever I feel like typing out. When I logged in a couple of minutes ago, I have nothing in mind to type. But when the page load, and the white screen stared back at me, the fingers just moved on its own corresponding to the gushing of words running in my thoughts. And the next thing I know, I have words that actually make sense of what my mind wants to let out.

For instance, the whole chunk of words before this.

It’s like a frustration of words wanting to be out and yet it’s like as if these words have been caged in my mind for awhile that it just needs some channel to let it out. The mind word wonders, and till now, it has never fail to amaze. I really wonder what the mind does consciously and subconsciously. Sometimes, my memory tends to fail me and sometimes it surprises me on how much I can remember despite of not remembering something for a very long time. There was a moment in my Human Development module class where my awesome lecturer, Cynthia, asked the class what’s the earliest memory each of us remember. And I am pretty much surprised that I can remember some form of memory when I was like a year plus 2? It’s not exactly a full picture of happy laughters and stuff, but it’s definitely some form of picture or voices that I remember back then.

Words, the mind and the self. The way they work.
It never fails to impress me, all of it at once.

With that, I guess I am stopping now. Because one, my mind decides to stop pouring out more words and two, I need to get ready for tutoring and school.

till then,
toddles

I am a Procrastinator!

cr: tumblr

First and foremost, I fucking miss all my friends. So hello friends, I miss you guys!

I think time is being unfair, I just started school like 4 weeks ago, and I just had my presentation done and over with and a mid term test coming up this Friday. And it has been freaking 4 weeks of school and it seems only yesterday that I whine about how much I am not looking forward to school, at all. Fuck, what have I been doing for the past 4 weeks then? Well, apart from whining, and stoning trying to listen in class and catching up with the school workload, I had been  .. relatively free. (If you minus the time I spent tutoring and working) I have been free and that time had been spent on the bed, doing absolutely nothing. I was totally nua-ing and that’s like best thing ever because doing nothing simply means doing nothing.

I was so determined to open up my Psychometrics text upon reaching home from a stats lecture just now. But hoho, the minute I reached home and saw my comfy little bed, I couldn’t help but to give in to the temptation of lying down and just nua. Someone should probably stay in with me and like lecture me to do my work (plus cleaning up my room) and slap my face or something every time I want to nua.

I should really stop complaining and whining and like really, and i mean it, REALLY, stop PROCRASTINATING
On a side note, I actually wrote “is the way of life” beside the “Procrastination” on my tutorial question for my psychometrics. I am just awesome like that.

And because I am awesome, I am going to log off and sleep.

Good night.

till then,
toodles

Ganglion Cells

Dear friends,

Tuesday was spent in school, learning all about the eye. Nono, let me correct it. It’s about the rods and cones and the cells and that ganglion cells and the light and that Na+ and K+ and LGN and the nerves and all of that including the visual spectrum of lights and that wavelength and that kind of thing that got to do with eye.

This is a pretty much random post, because I am seriously bored in school, right now.

till then,
toodles

>50 Questions that will free the mind

>These questions have no right or wrong answers.
Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
  2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
  3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
  4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
  5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
  6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
  7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
  8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
  9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
  10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
  11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
  12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
  13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
  14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
  15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
  16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
  17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?
  18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
  19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
  20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
  21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
  22. Why are you, you?
  23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
  24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
  25. What are you most grateful for?
  26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
  27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
  28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
  29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?
  30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
  31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
  32. If not now, then when?
  33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
  34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
  35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
  36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
  37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
  38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
  39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
  40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
  41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
  42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
  43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
  44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
  45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
  46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
  47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
  48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
  49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?
  50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Credits: Tumblr & here

till then,
toodles